Road to 1800 day 2

Day two. Same story. I’m still JM, still 25 years young, the only difference is that now I have 98 days left to hit 1800. Still using 1800 characters. No more, no less. Posting this by 7pm. No days off writing. The goal of this project is to put a damned good effort in. Failure is laziness if my chess.com rating reads 1799 or less.
More than hitting 1800, I hope that a sincere and earnest pursuit of a goal takes me somewhere. I’m a bit lost now in life. I’m also freer than the birds, not even the seasons bind me. A job abroad didn’t work out the way I wanted. Maybe that’s best. With these things, who's to say what is for better or worse? It’s what I like about chess, outcomes are clearly tied to actions.
I’m spending the better part of my energies studying the end of the game but I must change something in the way I start games. I generally win one third of my games when I move second, and two-thirds of my games when I move first.
It is not that I make better moves as white, the contrary is true. I make slightly better moves as black than as white. As a remedy, I’ve tried to memorize a half dozen set-ups to play into white’s most common moves. My opponents loved this and I lost an additional 10% of my games as black. My guess is that in my efforts to reach “good” positions, I moved away from positions that I enjoy and feel comfortable with. I would make moves that I don’t understand because I knew I “should” make them.
Tellingly, I lose the vast majority of my games in the middle despite reaching “better” positions as black than as white. My goal is to become better, not unbeatable. If I enjoy playing chess in an aggressive fashion, why should I chase perfect positions? I don’t need to be a world beater. My goal is to beat the person across from me.
Perhaps I haven’t spent enough effort to see the fruits of pursuing perfect play and there is a long lull before a sudden rise I’ve yet to see. If that’s the case, I won’t see it. I have 98 days left. If something’s not working, is it not a bit of insanity to have faith that it’ll start working soon? Surely most ideas are better than whatever I’m doing now. In chess and life.
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there!
Godspeed--JM