Sportsmanship in the Game

A couple of forums, one I authored about the psychology of chess and another a different player posted about sportsmanship here, held my attention a bit longer than usual. I wrote lengthy comments in both, which made me realize perhaps my thoughts were "bloggable." I saved two of my longer responses and edited the content here, so forgive me if some of the bits of this post seem familiar; you might have read parts of my posts in some of the original forum discussions. But since they are my thoughts, I wanted to merge them together to form a more cohesive blog post.

The longer I study chess, the more I am interested in what goes on in the minds of chess players when they play over the board. I know my inner world while playing an in-person game can waver from self-doubt to humor to frustration, all in one short blitz game. Certainly, I play much differently in person than I do online. When playing online, I can hide behind a screen and never see my opponent. I can stay focused and just run through the moves of my opening based on the patterns my opponent plays. There is much less emotional involvement for me when I am playing online. If I get embarrassed by a poor game, all I have to do is select a new game and move on. In person, when resetting the pieces in front of the opponent who just humiliated me, it is a lot tougher to save face. This is when a good sense of humor can really serve you well. Having experienced a number of embarrassing games, the rate at which I can come up with quick quips to soften the blow of defeat is getting much faster.

What are they thinking?

While I can tell you the thoughts that go through my mind, I can only theorize from the body language of other chess players what goes through theirs. In my opinion, trying to figure out when another player is bluffing that he has won the game or catch the "tell" of an opponent when he is trying to hide a blunder is a large component of the fun in chess. It is an experience you can't get if you only play online.

Over-the-board play is a whole different ballgame for me. I remember when I first attended a chess club in a park. I was so confident that I knew something about chess because I was the best among my friends (who weren't really that interested in the game). I entered the clubhouse and was immediately intimidated. It was loaded with confident men slamming pieces and smacking their clocks just to emphasize the moves they were making. I don't think I won a single game that day, except with the friend who had come with me. Since that humbling experience about 3 years ago, I have learned A LOT about chess, but still not enough to be a top player in the parks I visit.

I am pretty average among the guys I play with, but I notice that if I manage to stay calm and APPEAR confident, I can sometimes snag an unexpected win. Sometimes it happens because he blunders, or sometimes it happens because he might start to believe I am weaker than I am and play below his level, opening up the door to a few surprises.

Another thing that happens in real-life games is that I might start to believe that I can never win against a player. I remember one man in particular who I must have played and lost to at least 30 times in the course of a few months. The day I FINALLY beat him was the day I stopped believing he was invincible. Now I can win about 1 in 5 games with him.

The most annoying thing that happens is overconfidence. Sometimes a player who has almost won the game gets careless and loses the advantage in the endgame. That can be frustrating and almost certainly impacts his next game too.

I would like to read more about the psychology of chess because "reading your opponent" is a really fun component of the game for me. This "human factor" is hard to match when playing online. Do you have any fun OTB stories to share?

Sportsmanship is Essential

No matter what drama is going on in your own head during a game, I believe good sportsmanship is critical to increasing the popularity of the game of chess. Play chess for any length of time, and you will eventually run into a bad sport. There are people who pout when they lose, insult their opponents, or do worse (use your own example here). No one wants to play a sore loser, and I believe if new players continually have bad experiences against other players, eventually they will either quit the game or become poor sports themselves just to cope. Neither of those outcomes is ideal. In order to build the popularity of chess and see great minds develop in the sport, it is up to us to raise the bar and maintain decorum while playing.

In a recent forum, one player asked a question about what players say after a match. Of course, there were many non-sportsmanlike jokes in the comments, but I will expand on my original thoughts, that when playing online, I say, "Good game" or "Well played," win or lose, because the buttons are conveniently placed there in the chat by lichess. Also, if I have made a ton of mistakes mid-game, I might comment, "Sorry, I made too many blunders to recover." Then I resign and tell them, "Well played." Compliments are free. I don't see any reason not to be polite about a game.

In-person games are more fun for me. If I am playing with a teenager and I am losing, I like to make jokes during the games like, "Hey, aren't you supposed to respect your elders?" They usually laugh and win, and it takes the sting out of a loss for me. I have no problem encouraging kids if they win, and I like telling them that they play very well. I am happy for them. I hope they will go much further than me in the chess world. I think it's cool to see their progress. I have resolved in my mind that if they ever become great at chess, I can always say, "I knew them when..." So go ahead, kid; I'm rooting for you!

With guys my age, there is more tension because sometimes there is this underlining thought that if they lose to a woman, it is somehow shameful. It is hard to get past that sometimes, but with the guys I play with, we have gotten past that initial awkwardness and enjoy the game better now. We have learned to enjoy a lot of friendly banter during the games and not to take wins and losses so seriously. This is actually my favorite group to play against.

With older opponents, I understand that I am there to learn. They have a lifetime of experience, and their mastery of the game is extraordinary. When I occasionally win, they chuckle and are proud of me, as if I'm a kid who finally learned something. It's also a good feeling, and I am thankful for all that I am learning.

And this brings me to another thought: perhaps I am more protected from bad sportsmanship because the men I play with are more polite to a lady, maybe... I appreciate not having to deal so much with tempers and cursing, but I have certainly seen men behave this way with each other. It is equally uncomfortable to witness this from the side as well. I think chess can be a tool, a gauge, if you will, to help us uncover where we have some issues controlling our impulses, and it gives us opportunities to practice keeping our emotions in check.

I wish you peace and joy in your next games, both over-the-board and online!
As always, I look forward to reading your thoughts.
Cheers!