TMC Power Rankings Week 4

TMC Cash League

What is the league?:

The TMC Cash Chess League is a multi month league with some cash prizes consisting of a team draft, regular season, then playoffs.
Each round teams consisting of 5 players each will face each other and each player is required to play 2 3|1 games against their respective board. The power rankings below are an estimate of team and player ratings and overall compatibility however is not an entirely accurate representation of their overall skill and thus is not 100% accurate. (However its fun to try).

POWER RANKINGS WEEK 3

This week will be short and sweet as I have loads of homework and yes. This is by chatgpt but I did do the rankings. I'll make it up to y'all next week by doing every person again.

1. QKD (Quantum Knight Dynamics)

Still untouchable at the top. They don’t just play chess—they bend space-time around their opponents’ kings. The rest of the league can only pray that QKD experiences a quantum collapse... because otherwise, it’s looking like checkmate for everyone else.

2. First Rounders

They’re holding steady at #2, but let’s be honest—nobody remembers who finished second. At least they’re consistent, which is more than we can say for half the teams below them.

3. BALLS

After last week’s blunder, they’ve somehow clawed their way back into the top 3. Maybe they finally found their missing pieces (or just stopped hanging them). Either way, it’s about time they lived up to their name and played bold chess instead of bad chess.

4. D1 Throwers

They’re still throwing, but at least this time, it’s their opponents’ positions instead of their own. If they can cut down on the wild tactics and actually calculate, they might be dangerous. Until then, they’re just lucky to be here.

5. Hungry Goats

Climbing the rankings like they just ate a power-up mushroom. They’re scrappy, relentless, and willing to chew through any blunders in their path. Not bad for a team named after barn animals.

6. Southern Saints

They may be saints, but they sure don’t play mercifully. Rising slowly but surely, they’ve started taking their opponents’ sins (i.e., mistakes) and converting them into wins.

7. Hagrid Tuah

Hagrid may be a gentle giant, but this team needs to stop being so generous with their free pieces. Clean up the blunders and they could return to top-tier status. Otherwise, it’s back to the Forbidden Forest with them.

8. Blue Devils

Biggest leap of the week! After weeks of mediocrity, they finally decided to embrace their dark side and start punishing opponents. If they keep this up, they might actually be feared instead of just recognized.

9. Rizzlers

They got the rizz, but now they need the results. Flirting with success is one thing—securing it is another. Stop playing like winners and start being winners.

10. The Infinite Orangutan Theorem

Still rolling with the chaos theory. If you make enough random moves, eventually something works, right? Their playstyle is like flipping a coin—sometimes brilliant, sometimes tragic.

11. Vanguard Legion

Marching forward one step at a time, but the real question is: are they an actual legion or just a ragtag group of 900-rated foot soldiers? A little more organization and they could be terrifying.

12. We Smash KIDs (Kings Indian Defenses)

They claim to smash KIDs, but last week, it looked like they got smashed instead. Maybe they should focus less on aggressive branding and more on not hanging queens in move 10.

13. Knightmare Syndicate

Still lurking in the mid-tier. They’ll give you a nightmare if you let them get a knight on e6, but most of the time, they’re just giving us bad dreams with their inconsistency.

14. Bishops Battalion

Marching diagonally into a slightly better ranking, but let’s be real—if they were called Rook Battalion, they’d probably be a top 5 team. Bishops are tricky, but they’re not dominant.

15. Bruzeland

Two spots up, but it still feels like they’re moving at pawn speed. Stop shuffling pieces back and forth—make some bold moves, take some risks, and maybe we’ll take you seriously.

16. The Mighty Skibidis

Oof. Massive drop. Turns out, they were more “Skibidi Flop” than Mighty this week. Less TikTok memes, more endgame studies, please.

17. I Need Honey Pie Gang

Are they here to win games or bake desserts? No idea, but they’re slowly creeping up the rankings like syrup on a stack of pancakes.

18. AgentDidntWaggle

They didn’t waggle, and they didn’t move either. It’s like they’ve been stuck in the same middlegame position for weeks. Someone tell them the clock is still running.

19. Hammered Magical Narcs

They sobered up long enough to climb the rankings! Whatever magic spell they used, they should keep casting it—just maybe not on themselves.

20. Curry Munchers

Spicy, but still struggling. Maybe a little too much flavor, not enough substance. Less style points, more winning positions.

21. Blunder Masters: Kings of Chaos

Kings of Chaos? More like Kings of Catastrophic Mistakes. The only thing they mastered last week was losing winnable games.

22. The British Empire Redemption Alliance

Still trying to redeem themselves, still failing. History repeats itself, and unfortunately for them, it looks like another colonial disaster is unfolding.

23. Fangs Forks and Fury

Losing three spots means the “Fury” part isn’t really working out. Maybe just stick to forks—at least those have a clear plan.

24. Professional Pawn Grabbers

They love grabbing pawns, but what about checkmating? Last I checked, chess isn’t won by who has the most pawns left.

25. The Desserts

Still hanging out near the bottom. It’s like they’re saving their best chess for after dinner—except dinner never comes.

26. The Underdogs

At this point, they’re not even underdogs—they’re just dogs. Somebody throw them a bone, because winning doesn’t seem to be in their vocabulary.
Alright im stepping in here from chatgpt, this team is the most sorry bunch of chess players I have ever had to watch. In fact not watching them and seeing the result is better than watching and seeing their piss poor play.