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Why Most People Fail at Goals (and How to Be the Exception)

@Avetik_ChessMood said in #1:

Comments on lichess.org/@/avetik_chessmood/blog/why-most-people-fail-at-goals-and-how-to-be-the-exception/vKsy4YWk
thank you so much
do you recommend listening to music while playing chess??

@Avetik_ChessMood said in #1: > Comments on lichess.org/@/avetik_chessmood/blog/why-most-people-fail-at-goals-and-how-to-be-the-exception/vKsy4YWk thank you so much do you recommend listening to music while playing chess??

How is it related to chess?

How is it related to chess?

This is great stuff as chess teaches us about life. I have being doing business plans and helping people reach their financial goals for over 25 years. And this is great info and thanks for sharing it. I will get people that want to invest and I ask how much do you have in savings and they say nothing. Whatever you set as a goal must have action steps and these action steps must be measurable and something that can be accomplished. Also, when you write them down and look at them often then a dream becomes reality. I like your advice to tell someone about the committment as well. What I find is people come up with great plans but then they never review them! They never add the measurable action steps either. It ends up being just a great plan which is a hope and a wish not a plan! This has been a rough year for me as well. I had health problems and a job change and both not by choice. But I am keeping the faith and playing chess better than ever thanks to Chessmood and your coaching and courses! Thanks for all you do Chessmood family!

This is great stuff as chess teaches us about life. I have being doing business plans and helping people reach their financial goals for over 25 years. And this is great info and thanks for sharing it. I will get people that want to invest and I ask how much do you have in savings and they say nothing. Whatever you set as a goal must have action steps and these action steps must be measurable and something that can be accomplished. Also, when you write them down and look at them often then a dream becomes reality. I like your advice to tell someone about the committment as well. What I find is people come up with great plans but then they never review them! They never add the measurable action steps either. It ends up being just a great plan which is a hope and a wish not a plan! This has been a rough year for me as well. I had health problems and a job change and both not by choice. But I am keeping the faith and playing chess better than ever thanks to Chessmood and your coaching and courses! Thanks for all you do Chessmood family!

When it comes to weight loss, I have found it imperative to:

  1. Log weight and bodyfat % daily, or nearly so, when I get up before food or water and after toilet, to get a consistent set of numbers.
  2. Log calories and track energy expenditure (e.g. via Fitbit Charge and app). And ensure there is a deficit each day.

There are a lot of other little things that assist with this process, but those are the main two. Consistent feedback and effort.

Other helpful things are daily supplementation (a month of daily pill organization), ensuring 0.8g/lbs bodyweight of protein intake, and simplifying the diet to enable quick and easy measurement of food consumption and appropriate macro(nutrient) intake. And realistically, exercise. Specifically, cardio during weight loss, and breaking it up to do some weights in between.

When you start btw, you should measure your blood pressure as that is the silent killer, and it will improve as you lose weight.

You should also start with a final goal, and an intermediate goal in mind.

Now... how to apply this to chess?

Let's circle back to the weight loss critical elements.

  1. Log weight and bodyfat % daily, or nearly so, when I get up before food or water and after toilet, to get a consistent set of numbers. THIS IS RESULTS. In chess terms, your elo in the time format you care about. Probably rapid or classical, if you really want to improve.
  2. Log calories and track energy expenditure (e.g. via Fitbit Charge and app). And ensure there is a deficit each day. THIS IS EFFORT. Am I doing the right things to progress?

So, we have an objective measure of results, but unlike weight loss, there is not an exact thermodynamics equivalent that portends to chess improvement unlike knowing that caloric restriction leads to fat loss (and some muscle loss too). In fact, there are a number of different areas of chess to improve, all of which offer some benefits. Tactical proficiency via puzzles, end games, positional concepts, opening general theory and specific opening lines. Regular play, and analyzing your own games. There is also the matter of adequate sleep.

One should do a certain amount of these over the course of a week, and that should be logged if we are to adequately compare it to weight loss process.

I know what to do. However, I have been doing the chess equivalent of eating junk food, playing lots of blitz, and looking at that it's kind of obvious why I am not improving at present much, though I do make time for regular puzzles with my kids. With weight loss, one will feel somewhat hungry most of the time. With chess improvement, it will be somewhat uncomfortable and feel like work.

This is my original post. In a minute I'm going to post an upgraded, AI-written version of this, incorporating some new insights.

When it comes to weight loss, I have found it imperative to: 1) Log weight and bodyfat % daily, or nearly so, when I get up before food or water and after toilet, to get a consistent set of numbers. 2) Log calories and track energy expenditure (e.g. via Fitbit Charge and app). And ensure there is a deficit each day. There are a lot of other little things that assist with this process, but those are the main two. Consistent feedback and effort. Other helpful things are daily supplementation (a month of daily pill organization), ensuring 0.8g/lbs bodyweight of protein intake, and simplifying the diet to enable quick and easy measurement of food consumption and appropriate macro(nutrient) intake. And realistically, exercise. Specifically, cardio during weight loss, and breaking it up to do some weights in between. When you start btw, you should measure your blood pressure as that is the silent killer, and it will improve as you lose weight. You should also start with a final goal, and an intermediate goal in mind. Now... how to apply this to chess? Let's circle back to the weight loss critical elements. 1) Log weight and bodyfat % daily, or nearly so, when I get up before food or water and after toilet, to get a consistent set of numbers. THIS IS RESULTS. In chess terms, your elo in the time format you care about. Probably rapid or classical, if you really want to improve. 2) Log calories and track energy expenditure (e.g. via Fitbit Charge and app). And ensure there is a deficit each day. THIS IS EFFORT. Am I doing the right things to progress? So, we have an objective measure of results, but unlike weight loss, there is not an exact thermodynamics equivalent that portends to chess improvement unlike knowing that caloric restriction leads to fat loss (and some muscle loss too). In fact, there are a number of different areas of chess to improve, all of which offer some benefits. Tactical proficiency via puzzles, end games, positional concepts, opening general theory and specific opening lines. Regular play, and analyzing your own games. There is also the matter of adequate sleep. One should do a certain amount of these over the course of a week, and that should be logged if we are to adequately compare it to weight loss process. I know what to do. However, I have been doing the chess equivalent of eating junk food, playing lots of blitz, and looking at that it's kind of obvious why I am not improving at present much, though I do make time for regular puzzles with my kids. With weight loss, one will feel somewhat hungry most of the time. With chess improvement, it will be somewhat uncomfortable and feel like work. This is my original post. In a minute I'm going to post an upgraded, AI-written version of this, incorporating some new insights.

(While I have been successful at weight loss, and I have gained about 500 elo over the course of a year as an adult learner, I have much further to progress. While I do log puzzles completed with my kids, I have not always kept up the discipline in other chess areas. But perhaps I can make 2025 better in that regard.)

When it comes to weight loss, I’ve found there are two main pillars that propel progress:

  1. Log weight and body fat percentage daily (or nearly so).
    -I do this in the morning, before I eat or drink anything, and after using the toilet.
    -The number on the scale can fluctuate day to day—water weight (plus glycogen), sodium, digestive tract contents etc.—but watching trends over time helps me see whether I’m headed in the right direction.

  2. Track calories in and calories out.
    -I log calories using the Fitbit app and pay attention to energy expenditure (I wear a Fitbit Charge for that).
    -The goal is to maintain a consistent deficit. Not a drastic one—just enough to make steady progress without going nuts from hunger. Minimum 1200-1400 calories per day. If I aim for that and get 1600-1800 cal it will still be enough for me to lose fat. (You will have to run your own numbers though, this is just an example for me.)

That’s really the core of it: consistent feedback (logging results and effort) and consistent effort (eating fewer calories than I burn). Everything else feeds into this.

The Extra Boost: Supplements, Protein, and Exercise
Supplements: I organize my daily pills for the entire month. That way, I’m not scrambling to remember if I took my vitamins.
Protein Intake: I aim for around 0.8g of protein per pound of bodyweight. That’s a commonly suggested range to help preserve muscle while dropping fat. Similarly, a certain amount of good fats via olives or olive oil.
Exercise: Cardio when cutting weight, plus some resistance training. Lifting weights helps keep muscle on and keeps your metabolism healthy. Log exercises, weight and reps! And start absolutely minimally... build on things very gradually, this will keep the routine sustainable.
Blood Pressure Checks: Hypertension is a silent killer. If you’re starting a weight-loss journey, track your blood pressure too. Losing weight often improves it.

Note: I'm not a doctor, this is just what I do.

The Destination: Set Your Goals
I like having two goals:

  1. A final goal (e.g., hitting a certain weight or body fat percentage).
  2. An intermediate goal (something to keep me motivated along the way). As you hit the intermediate goal, you set a new one.
    Without milestones, it’s easy to lose steam when progress feels slow. And permit yourself to celebrate a little with each milestone hit.

Applying This to Chess
Oddly enough, these same principles can drive improvement in chess:

  1. Measure Your Results

For weight loss, we weigh in. For chess, we look at our Elo rating—preferably in the time control we care about (rapid, classical, etc.). We can track how that rating moves up or down after each session or each week, noting that, like weight loss, some variation is natural. Sometimes you get undeserved great weeks when your opponents hang pieces or abandon the game. Other times you get undeserved bad weeks - you played above your usual average strength, but your opponent played even better. Or this time it's you who has a bad internet connection moments before a win.

  1. Track Your Daily/Weekly Effort

Just like logging calories, we should track our chess “intake.” How many puzzles did I solve? How many endgame lessons did I complete? Did I analyze my games or just play more blitz?

Logging these activities is a great reality check. You might feel like you studied a lot, but the data might say otherwise.
But here’s the catch: while weight loss has thermodynamics on its side (consume fewer calories than burned lose weight), chess improvement isn’t as straightforward. There’s no one simple formula. You might spend tons of time on openings but neglect tactics, or vice versa. Ultimately, progress can stall if you don’t cover your bases.

The “Macros” of Chess
Think of chess study as hitting your macros:

Tactics: Puzzles to sharpen your calculation and pattern recognition.
Endgames: Where technique matters most.
Openings: Enough theory to get a decent position out of the gate.
Positional/Strategic Concepts: Where to move when you don't have an obvious tactic.
It’s also crucial to analyze your own games and get feedback on your mistakes—just like you might review your food diary if you log for a week and nothing shows on the scale.

The Discomfort Factor
When I’m eating in a slight deficit, I’m a little hungry most of the time. It’s not debilitating, but it’s a sign I’m on track. Similarly, when I’m improving in chess, it’s not always fun and games. Doing puzzles or endgame drills can feel like real work, some mental strain/discomfort—and that’s actually positive. A bit of discomfort means we’re pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zone.

Accountability: The Secret Sauce
One of the most underrated pieces of both fitness and chess improvement is accountability. For weight loss, having a friend or a group to check in with can stop you from bailing on your goals. For chess, consider joining a real-life chess club. It’s kind of like the chess version of a gym, but, uh, on steroids (which I don't use or recommend, but it's the truth). With a gym, it often is a completely isolated experience, other than seeing other people and saying hello to them. You wear your earbuds, do your thing, look at some other people, but really, you could accomplish the same thing in your home gym. But in a chess club, you have no choice but to interact, as you will be playing others, talking to them, reviewing or helping to review your games, and seeing the results of the regular tournaments. Suddenly, you are in a real life community of humans with a pecking order, and everyone wants to get better. Our brains are really at home in this environment.

If you’re like me, it’s easy to talk yourself out of practicing or studying if no one’s expecting you to show up. But when you have that weekly club meeting or a friend waiting to play a match, you feel more invested in your improvement.

Conclusion: Two Journeys, One Mindset
Both weight loss and chess improvement boil down to consistent tracking and consistent effort. In weight loss, this means stepping on the scale and counting calories. In chess, it means measuring your Elo and logging your study and practice time. Neither journey is easy—hunger pangs or mental strain might make you want to quit. But progress comes from embracing that mild discomfort, trusting the process, and staying accountable along the way.

So, if you find yourself playing too much blitz (the chess equivalent of junk food), or you’re mindlessly snacking past your daily calorie goal, it might be time to pull out the logs and get back on track. Small, consistent actions, day after day, really do add up—whether you’re trying to shed pounds or gain rating points. And perhaps there should be a lichess front end that simply does not feature bullet and blitz. This would be like removing the calorie dense snacks from the house.

So try logging your progress for a week, in weight loss and/or chess. But don't attempt to instantly go from nothing to an aspiring Super GM's training regime. Start small and build up.

(While I have been successful at weight loss, and I have gained about 500 elo over the course of a year as an adult learner, I have much further to progress. While I do log puzzles completed with my kids, I have not always kept up the discipline in other chess areas. But perhaps I can make 2025 better in that regard.) When it comes to weight loss, I’ve found there are two main pillars that propel progress: 1. Log weight and body fat percentage daily (or nearly so). -I do this in the morning, before I eat or drink anything, and after using the toilet. -The number on the scale can fluctuate day to day—water weight (plus glycogen), sodium, digestive tract contents etc.—but watching trends over time helps me see whether I’m headed in the right direction. 2. Track calories in and calories out. -I log calories using the Fitbit app and pay attention to energy expenditure (I wear a Fitbit Charge for that). -The goal is to maintain a consistent deficit. Not a drastic one—just enough to make steady progress without going nuts from hunger. Minimum 1200-1400 calories per day. If I aim for that and get 1600-1800 cal it will still be enough for me to lose fat. (You will have to run your own numbers though, this is just an example for me.) That’s really the core of it: consistent feedback (logging results and effort) and consistent effort (eating fewer calories than I burn). Everything else feeds into this. The Extra Boost: Supplements, Protein, and Exercise Supplements: I organize my daily pills for the entire month. That way, I’m not scrambling to remember if I took my vitamins. Protein Intake: I aim for around 0.8g of protein per pound of bodyweight. That’s a commonly suggested range to help preserve muscle while dropping fat. Similarly, a certain amount of good fats via olives or olive oil. Exercise: Cardio when cutting weight, plus some resistance training. Lifting weights helps keep muscle on and keeps your metabolism healthy. Log exercises, weight and reps! And start absolutely minimally... build on things very gradually, this will keep the routine sustainable. Blood Pressure Checks: Hypertension is a silent killer. If you’re starting a weight-loss journey, track your blood pressure too. Losing weight often improves it. Note: I'm not a doctor, this is just what I do. The Destination: Set Your Goals I like having two goals: 1. A final goal (e.g., hitting a certain weight or body fat percentage). 2. An intermediate goal (something to keep me motivated along the way). As you hit the intermediate goal, you set a new one. Without milestones, it’s easy to lose steam when progress feels slow. And permit yourself to celebrate a little with each milestone hit. Applying This to Chess Oddly enough, these same principles can drive improvement in chess: 1. Measure Your Results For weight loss, we weigh in. For chess, we look at our Elo rating—preferably in the time control we care about (rapid, classical, etc.). We can track how that rating moves up or down after each session or each week, noting that, like weight loss, some variation is natural. Sometimes you get undeserved great weeks when your opponents hang pieces or abandon the game. Other times you get undeserved bad weeks - you played above your usual average strength, but your opponent played even better. Or this time it's you who has a bad internet connection moments before a win. 2. Track Your Daily/Weekly Effort Just like logging calories, we should track our chess “intake.” How many puzzles did I solve? How many endgame lessons did I complete? Did I analyze my games or just play more blitz? Logging these activities is a great reality check. You might feel like you studied a lot, but the data might say otherwise. But here’s the catch: while weight loss has thermodynamics on its side (consume fewer calories than burned lose weight), chess improvement isn’t as straightforward. There’s no one simple formula. You might spend tons of time on openings but neglect tactics, or vice versa. Ultimately, progress can stall if you don’t cover your bases. The “Macros” of Chess Think of chess study as hitting your macros: Tactics: Puzzles to sharpen your calculation and pattern recognition. Endgames: Where technique matters most. Openings: Enough theory to get a decent position out of the gate. Positional/Strategic Concepts: Where to move when you don't have an obvious tactic. It’s also crucial to analyze your own games and get feedback on your mistakes—just like you might review your food diary if you log for a week and nothing shows on the scale. The Discomfort Factor When I’m eating in a slight deficit, I’m a little hungry most of the time. It’s not debilitating, but it’s a sign I’m on track. Similarly, when I’m improving in chess, it’s not always fun and games. Doing puzzles or endgame drills can feel like real work, some mental strain/discomfort—and that’s actually positive. A bit of discomfort means we’re pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zone. Accountability: The Secret Sauce One of the most underrated pieces of both fitness and chess improvement is accountability. For weight loss, having a friend or a group to check in with can stop you from bailing on your goals. For chess, consider joining a real-life chess club. It’s kind of like the chess version of a gym, but, uh, on steroids (which I don't use or recommend, but it's the truth). With a gym, it often is a completely isolated experience, other than seeing other people and saying hello to them. You wear your earbuds, do your thing, look at some other people, but really, you could accomplish the same thing in your home gym. But in a chess club, you have no choice but to interact, as you will be playing others, talking to them, reviewing or helping to review your games, and seeing the results of the regular tournaments. Suddenly, you are in a real life community of humans with a pecking order, and everyone wants to get better. Our brains are really at home in this environment. If you’re like me, it’s easy to talk yourself out of practicing or studying if no one’s expecting you to show up. But when you have that weekly club meeting or a friend waiting to play a match, you feel more invested in your improvement. Conclusion: Two Journeys, One Mindset Both weight loss and chess improvement boil down to consistent tracking and consistent effort. In weight loss, this means stepping on the scale and counting calories. In chess, it means measuring your Elo and logging your study and practice time. Neither journey is easy—hunger pangs or mental strain might make you want to quit. But progress comes from embracing that mild discomfort, trusting the process, and staying accountable along the way. So, if you find yourself playing too much blitz (the chess equivalent of junk food), or you’re mindlessly snacking past your daily calorie goal, it might be time to pull out the logs and get back on track. Small, consistent actions, day after day, really do add up—whether you’re trying to shed pounds or gain rating points. And perhaps there should be a lichess front end that simply does not feature bullet and blitz. This would be like removing the calorie dense snacks from the house. So try logging your progress for a week, in weight loss and/or chess. But don't attempt to instantly go from nothing to an aspiring Super GM's training regime. Start small and build up.

This is a wonderful type of advice that every soul must know, I've been struggling in my 2000s ( in terms of rating ) , like always falling back in my 1970s 80s etc , etc etc. Now that I've some plans I've been improving a lot in my local and national level tournaments from 2.5/9 to 8.0/9

This is a wonderful type of advice that every soul must know, I've been struggling in my 2000s ( in terms of rating ) , like always falling back in my 1970s 80s etc , etc etc. Now that I've some plans I've been improving a lot in my local and national level tournaments from 2.5/9 to 8.0/9

Easiest way to get actually good life advice: go to lichess.org

Easiest way to get actually good life advice: go to lichess.org