when against other real players, i am scared cuz i always think:"Every opponent is better than me and i suck at chess" which stresses me, i dont understand how GMs even handle this type of emotions, so what should i do to fix my scarred emoton against real players?
@JustAChessPlayer177 said [^](/forum/redirect/post/hpfeQACq)
> when against other real players, i am scared cuz i always think:"Every opponent is better than me and i suck at chess" which stresses me, i dont understand how GMs even handle this type of emotions, so what should i do to fix my scarred emoton against real players?
Don't be scared of losing, just remember they're a person too, and every game is a chance to improve imo ;p
@JustAChessPlayer177 said [^](/forum/redirect/post/hpfeQACq)
> "Every opponent is better than me and i suck at chess"
What I normally do is try to go step by step,
1. Forget everything (especially if the opponent has a higher rating)
2. Focus on the opening, try to get as close to theory as you can remember (work on your openings by the way, most amateur games end in openings)
3. When all's developed, take a breath, switch to middlegame, try to find weaknesses and just make your position stronger
4. Keep improving your position while weakening his/her
5. If you lose, analyse with a computer
6. If you win, I know other people say you should analyse with a computer too but I'd just take the win, saves you a lot of time
Does this only happen with chess? Did you play any other games as a kid (or maybe you still are a kid)? Are you scared to play people at marbles? or monopoly? of go Fish? or whatever other game is/was popular in your childhood?
Why is chess different??
Generally best way to frame it is so that regardless of the result you get a positive outcome. So for example a win means you're happy cause you won while a loss means you've identified a flaw in your game that once fixed means you become a better player.
So playing against players leads to a constant refinement of your skills when you lose and when you win it shows the refinement has worked.
I'll also add that if playing otb many players are quite nice and will be more than happy to share their understanding of the game. This is particularly valuable against stronger opponents since they'll be able to why they assessed the position differently to you and you can steal their understanding to boost your own rating in subsequent games.
In chess, plans fail; players don’t. You may win, draw, or lose, but you are never a failure.
i usually ,convince and self condition myself to think im magnus carlsen and their oppoennts ,and during games,i remain calm and ask myself ,what would a GM/magnus play here, i remember patern from mater games ,calculate variations,see the imbalances make a plan and play the maneuvers/tactics accordingly,i also make some physically intimdating gestures to ut them under some sort of pressure
Just remember that they had to put their pants on one leg at a time this morning, just like you did. You could imagine that they somehow did it with both legs at the same time, with some awkward hop.. or perhaps a running jump. I don't think many people go for that though, as it would make dressing into a high risk activity.
When you realize that they are just like you, a person with some talent, then you will respect them a little and also realize that they may be afraid of you too.
@JustAChessPlayer177 said [^](/forum/redirect/post/hpfeQACq)
> Every opponent is better than me
Only 40% better than you
Would it help to put it this way: what's the worst that can happen when you play a game of chess? That you lose a game of chess? Which happens to everyone. There's always a new game after that. And there are usually many opportunities in a single game to come back from a worse position when you just keep trying. Mistakes are really a learning opportunity.
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