Lest we forget, a good long read. Some typical answers are yet included^^
Even years after I published the article (20+ years ago with 5+ million readers), there are still men who want to control what women should or should not do in chess!
First of all, even though we are in the 21st century, there is still a social stigma, according to which, girls are not supposed to want to become firefighters, mathematicians, engineers, or (yes!) chess players, etc. Many parents do not recognize that they are inadvertently feeding into this by giving their daughters stereotypical girl-toys, such as Barbie dolls, make-up and other “girly” toys.
For those parents (or teachers) who believe that girls can be anything they want to be, they face an uphill battle and a lot of extra obstacles (and expenses) in the chess world (just as in other male-dominated fields). It starts out with the serious difficulty in finding female chess coaches. There is a tremendous shortage. Some ask why the need for a female coach. There are several valid reasons, besides mentorship. For example, while a male coach may take a male student to an out-of-town competition and share a room, most parents of girls would never consent to the same. Therefore, even if they would allow their teenage daughters to travel with the male coaches, they would need to get a second hotel room which is a significant extra expense. Let’s say a hotel room with taxes is $100-150 a night, and most serious events would range from 6-11 days, you can do the math.
Secondly, boys / men are on average more aggressive and competitive. At a younger age, girls often face demeaning and insulting comments such as “chess is not for girls”, “girls cannot play chess”, or “you’re stupid”, etc. For the girls who survive the early difficult years and still remain in chess, things get worse during the adolescent years. An even bigger and more dangerous issue looms larger. While 90% of guys at most chess tournaments (or in chess clubs) may behave as perfect gentlemen, there is about a 10% who behave very disrespectfully towards women, especially when they have had a few drinks.
During my career, I had numerous occasions from personal experience where various male chess players made me feel awfully uncomfortable, and very unsafe, by making unsolicited and unwanted sexual advances. At times, they refused to take “NO” for an answer. On a few occasions, I was even extremely fearful for my physical safety. Once, a male tried to kill me by attempting to throw me off the third-floor balcony when I tried to fight off his sexual attack (I wrote about in my memoir Rebel Queen). Sadly, many of my female chess-playing colleagues have similar stories to mine. This is why during my early years, I rarely dressed up or wore make-up. I did not want to stand out and be a bigger target. While many women want to look better, I “chose” to be less attractive.
This is why I am so thankful that my parents sacrificed a lot (and not just financially) to accompany me to most of my out-of-town chess competitions even into my 20’s. This is an issue that most guys rarely, if ever, face. Given the gross disproportion of men versus women at most open chess tournaments, this is a serious issue that can make girls/ women feel uncomfortable, distracted, and in fact, for many girls to the degree that they give up chess all together.
Even today, when women are more accepted in chess compared to when I started out in the 1970’s, these problems still continue. For example, when I recently made a complaint about a certain male chess player, not only did the organizer ignore my warnings (implying that it is a non-issue), but they went ahead and spent more money to promote this person. Many in the chess world know who the “trouble makers” who demean, insult, and abuse women are, but nothing is done about it. To make it worse, those trouble makers in their circles get high-fives and praises for their despicable actions. Some of them compete to see who can “score” more.
These are some of the main reasons why I feel that it is very important for young girls, as well as for women to have also SOME female-only events. This is where they do not have to deal with all the above-mentioned possible distractions and uncomfortable situations as we often face in open events. Also, such all-girl events serve as wonderful bonding experience, especially for younger girls, where they encourage each other to stay in chess instead of quitting.
Thirdly, even when a few blossomed, they are being punished and pushed down. When I became the #1 ranked female chess player in the world at age 15, some chess politicians could not accept this unprecedented success. They wanted to punish me for wanting to be as strong as the boys by competing only in open tournaments with boys and men. They wanted to make an example of me to discourage others from following my footsteps.
So, when I became the first woman to qualify for the “Men’s” World Championship cycle, the male chess politicians decided to block me from competing. The official reason? Because I am NOT a man so I CANNOT compete in a “Men’s” World Championship.
Sounds like a joke? But it happened!
Then it happened again! It was not enough that they blocked me from competing against men, more punishments were needed in their minds. What did they come up with next? They decided to award all other women players an extra 100 rating points except for me. This was an outrageous and disgraceful act. But for going “against” the conventional wisdom that girls “should not” or “could not” play chess, chess politicians simply cannot allow one girl with a big dream to break through the glass ceiling, to prove that women are just as capable with proper training and support, that girl, me, MUST BE PUNISHED.
The road to fight for women’s rights and equality was a long, costly, and painful one for me (I wrote about it extensively in my memoir Rebel Queen [url]https://www.amazon.com/Rebel-Queen-Misogyny.../dp/153875729X[/url]). There were many sleepless nights. There were tears that can fill Lake Balaton. But I am still standing strong. I am still fighting and I will never cave. And I will fight for this incredible cause which is so dear to my heart as long as I can physically do it. These naysayers slowed me down. And they can continue to put up road blocks. But they could not stop me. They will never stop me, ever. Even if I have to do it alone, I will.
When they tried to block me from advancement, my family supported me more. And I trained even harder to silence the critics. In January 1991, I broke the glass ceiling by becoming the first woman in history to earn the grandmaster title through conventional tournament play (3 GM norms and 2500+ rating). Eleven months later, my baby sister Judit became the second woman in history to accomplish it. And in 1992, Pia Cramling of Sweden, a friend of mine, became the 3rd woman to do it. Today, there are 44 women who hold the Grandmaster title, a feat which at one time seemed impossible.
I posted this recently: “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat the same catastrophic failures!”
Many parents of girls do not know about the history and difficulties girls and women before them faced. And because of this, they often have to learn the hard way from bad personal experiences. I am sad to see that some girls I helped early on, after becoming more successful in chess, do not bother to support and help the next generation of girls succeed. They even look down on girls with lower ratings. The good news is that while there are a few exceptions, many are big supporters and are doing their jobs to get more girls in chess in their local communities.
I simply fail to see why some people are so troubled by the idea of girls and women having SOME events for themselves, where they are the positive focus point for the right reasons, and not for unwanted reasons.
So, what do girls who still would like to try and succeed and get to the top in chess need to do?
1. Train hard (if not harder) than the boys.
2. Have a strong support system (in most cases, family) who will give them emotional, physical and material support.
3. Opportunities to learn and compete at high levels against the best possible competition.
For the girls who are strong enough, and have the right training and support, they can play in any tournament they want, including Open tournaments. Go for it! Dream big! I did and so did my sisters. But the problem in chess is we are losing so many girls at a certain age (because they and / or their parents feel that it is simply NOT worth it to spend so much time, money, and effort and have to deal with the hostile, unfriendly, and uncomfortable environment for girls). So, this is the problem I am trying to tackle.
Lastly, success in chess is a numbers game. It takes time and patience. Take India or China for example. These were relatively weak or lesser-known chess countries not so long ago. Today, China and India are among the strongest chess countries in the world. What caused this drastic change? Because it is a numbers game! And when it is combined with good training and support system, success happens.
Today while the overwhelming majority are very supportive of female players, some comments are eye openers. Here are just a few examples:
– Why is it a problem if some girls are sexually harassed by male players at tournaments? It will make them stronger to deal with the real world.
– ...shielding girls from the realities of the world isn’t the way to improve the conditions. What this does is subconsciously reinforce the notion that they are somehow inferior.
– If the girls didn’t provoke first, there would be no problem at all.
– If you have Girl or Women’s tournaments that exclude men, then shouldn’t you have Men’s tournaments that exclude women?
– Oooh, you’re so pretty. Are you married?
– If girls can’t deal with the reality of chess, maybe they could try something less challenging?
– Get a grip. Girls won’t ever be as good as boys.
– It’s good to have more girls in chess, especially the pretty ones.
– Chess is a men’s sport. You can’t change the fact.
– Girls are surely seeking attention when they go to chess tournaments. What do they expect?
– Why do you always wanna to rock the boat? Why can’t you accept it?
Yes it is a big problem. When you are younger and haven't seen that much, and are not doing it yourself, you might having difficulties believing it is that bad.
But it is. My wife always was and is good-looking. Men are making advances when I'm standing next to her or sending messages , and making an error in the phone-number, they send them to me.
You do not believe your eyes. Friends, family, people you'll never would have thought off. Nothing counts, nothing is sacred.
But I'm afraid it will never go better. On the contrary, since respect (in general)in society is going downhill, it'll only be worse.
Susan Polgar got invited to some tournaments because she was a woman, just like Vera Menchik almost a century ago was invited to Carlsbad 1929.
The Polgar Sisters refused to play in girl’s or women’s tournaments themselves, they made one exception for one Olympiad.
@tpr said in #3:
> The Polgar Sisters refused to play in girl’s or women’s tournaments themselves, they made one exception for one Olympiad.
Not all of them. For example, Zsuzsa Polgár played at least in 1992-93 and 1994-95 Women Candidates.
Dad Lazlo Polgar was also prejudiced: he hoped for at least one son for his experiment, but got three daughters, and proceeded anyway, with success.
"it is a numbers game" * No, it is a cultural issue. Chess was invented in China and India, it is just coming home. There is a disproportional number of strong chess players of Jewish descent. It is because of culture. The Polgars are Jews too. It is no coincidence that Dad Lazlo Polgar offered his daughters a choice between chess, mathematics, or classical music, three disciplines culturally valued among Jews.
Many female gymnasts, athletes, swimmers, tennis players, soccer players reported abuse by coaches, officials, or fellow athletes despite competing in girl’s or women’s competitions. A chess tournament looks safer.
"it is a numbers game" * No, it is a cultural issue.
Big statement. Nevertheless, one does not exclude the other.
"The Polgar Sisters refused to play in girl’s or women’s tournaments themselve"
Again, it is not because you propose something, that when it happens you absolutely must participate. There can be a 1000 other reasons not to
#6
"when it happens you absolutely must participate"
* Dad Lazlo Polgar was firmly opposed to women's and girl's tournaments and thought these detrimental to development.
The one time they played in the women's Olympiad was only after huge pressure by the Hungarian federation.
It is strange that Susan now advocates it.
After reading this bs I got the urge to play RDR 2 and do some stuff, if you know what I mean.
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