Comments on https://lichess.org/@/noelstuder/blog/how-to-stop-obsessing-about-rating-and-enjoy-chess-more/nokSQeyU
I would agree to the main theme of this topic and would think it is a good reminder for people who take losses to seriously.
I also had some students who didn't care about results at all. They didn't improve and lost the interest for chess soon and completly.
So I consider being sad about a loss is very important. Just to remember what went wrong in the game. If you feel nothing, I would bet, that shortly after you forget the whole game.
So I think it's very hard to find the right amount of sadness about a loss. If it's paralyzes you completly, it's to much, but if a loss didn't touches you at all, it's to less.
Very difficult topic...
A main problem is that people don't know their ceiling or potential, so a loss of rating feels like they're getting worse at the game, rather than a mountainous trajectory.
Obviously with lower rated players like me, the points don't matter much, but we all feel stressed & inadequate when we're playing trash because a lot of players are addicted & you can't just quit a hobby!
i love your blogs, they are very useful
This is helpful, I have never played rated, becuase I did not want to lose my elo. But not playing rated doesnt make you better. So I will take this into full consideration and start playing more and more rated. Thank you!
number go up, happy chemical appear in brain
This is essentially step #1 of AA: we are powerless over the results (as opposed to doing our own part, which we can choose to do), and accepting that is a path to a happier life.