Chess Anxiety?

I came in almost dead last in an informal, unrated tournament back in May. My local chess buddy was upset with me, because he won and I did not (I usually defeat him in chess). What I tried to help him understand was that it was a Game in 15 minutes...I don't thrive under so much time pressure. It is also possible that he is better under time pressure than I am. Finally, chess results can be like rock, paper, scissors. A chess player B might defeat player C who can defeat player A, who in turn beats B. It is not always linear.

I might have been tired that day, but it is no excuse. The other people in the tournament outplayed me. I don't blame anyone but myself...

Don't even blame yourself. The plan did not work. So you modify the plan.
The plan failed; that doesn't mean you failed.

If you get anxious before games, try being at the venue just before games start. You can take a walk, clear your mind, get some fresh air. Hanging around waiting only gives you more time to get nervous.

I would try a couple of things and some of these might work (or not) depending on the source of the anxiety:

1. Read the rule book a few times. Think through scenarios where you might need an arbiters assistance, and where you can manage on your own. Remove uncertainty by knowing your rights.

2. Come extremely prepared. Have a plan for what you will do before the game, during the game, and after the game. Will you sit at the chess board 15 minutes before? Will you come to the board when the arbiter tells players to start the clock? Bring ear plugs, water, a snack, coffee, extra pencils whatever you need to succeed.

3. Build a tournament routine. Whether that means to take a walk before each game, or ask your opponent to post mortem the game with you after. Are you going to leave the board to get water to let your opponent sweat a bad move they've just made? Do it the same each time.

4. Treat each game as its own separate event. Forget high level tournament strategy or overall score. Stay present in each game by playing the best move that you can play in that moment and then give yourself permission to let it be good enough. If you lose, you need to know that you played the best move you could. Then, let the game unfold naturally and let chess dictate the game.

5. Train the clock. The clock can add extreme pressure when it runs short. Play short chess, play long chess where you run low on time deliberately. Put yourself into those situations so you can practice them.

I bet there are other strategies. Good luck!

there's great advice in this thread. I doubt I'll add to it. For me dropping me ego or false sense of, or desire for pride, was a big difference. I don't care if I lose. When I take a chance, I acknowledge what I'm doing has some risk in it and I takes my chances. I hope to find something I can learn from in each game and hopefully try to learn those things.

It's a game. Games are meant to make learning, hopefully something useful with real-life applications like how we think, fun. That's why mammals play. Getting better at chess should improve some aspect of your thought process in general, and while we can't focus on that while we play and we should be having fun or we shouldn't play the game, eventually the getting better at chess and getting better as some aspect of life should align.

Maybe think about where else you have anxiety and try to figure out when that anxiety was unwarranted and held you back. Courage isn't the best word here, but the virtue between fear and recklessness is the goal. Maybe in chess take many chances for a while, then play very cautiously for a while. This will not give great results over the board, but it might help gain control over your emotions.

Thanks for all the advice. I'm checking into all of it.

anxiety is a very natural thing, take a deep breath, make sure you do not get affected severely by it, and just accept it and play, embracing the anxiety is best.

NOOO

Think of it this way: if you win, your rating goes up — great. If you lose or draw and your rating drops, it’s no big deal either. A lower rating just means you’ll be matched against slightly weaker opponents, which increases your chances of winning.

I am an old chess player. The day I stop experiencing pre-round jitters is the day I quit playing tournament chess.

Those feelings of anxiety keep me coming back for more!

I choose not to suppress. I have learned to play the game along with those feelings of anxiety which in my case is really just excitement.

Acceptance is the workhorse.