I feel like i am being nerfed by my mindset

whenever i play games, i have 2 minds:
one tells me:"hey, play that!" aggresive, risky and activation mindset of my own
on the other hand, my safe, passive and no-risk mind says:"hey, activate all your pieces, calm down, play safe and have fun"
i use my 2. Mindset (calm, safe and passive) most of the time when i dont know what am i doing
BUT whenever i check with an engine, my 1. Mindset was correct!
i cant stop this problem, what should i do?

I'd offer advice but the forum police will likely downvote me into oblivion, so I'll pass. You'll figure it out. It's a pretty obvious answer.

@JustAChessPlayer177

There is a way to play which is different from the ways you listed...avoid playing too aggressively and do NOT play passively. In other words, fight for the center, but don't do it so recklessly. Make some "aggressive" moves, but make moves which are also sound. Don't take unnecessary risks. Never play a desperate move unless you have nothing left to lose.

You should almost never attack without first developing all of your forces (this does NOT mean make useless pawn moves...you should make enough pawn moves to allow your pieces to move to the best possible squares for the opening in question). The exception is if you have a forced mate, due to a blunder or more from your opponent.

One example of playing safely is in a double-king pawn opening. It makes sense to attack your opponent's king pawn with 2. Nf3. Try to keep your opponent on the defensive, but don't try to mate your opponent with only two pieces developed (say a bishop and the Queen), Your opponent will see it coming, and your pieces will be poorly placed once he/she responds.

'Yes, maybe I like to defend myself more than to attack, but who has proven that defense is a less dangerous and risky activity than attack? I believe only in logical, correct play' - Petrosian

In such a situation, your brain is trying to judge between:

• the move is bad
• the move is good, but scary

all I can really say is that, better chess players are better at judging. Calculate. Positions are dangerous for both sides. If you didn't judge correctly, understand the thought process of why you made the wrong choice and where that thought was wrong. Most likely stockfish can see things beyond what you can so of course stockfish can make the correct judgment whereas any human is not quite sure about it.