Campaign to make me famous, like those YouTube people

During my pondering time today, it occurred to me that my attempts to avoid mainstream name recognition are, perhaps, misguided. After all, I'm awesome. I've been hit with a sword. I've conducted a citizen's arrest. I once threw a rock at a guy who was later arrested for planning a terrorist attack. A Kardashian once came quite close to killing me.*

In addition to my awesomeness, I'm wholesome and a good role model. When compared to the Kardashians (especially Khloe, the one who almost ran me over in Rome) or Pew D Pie or that dumbass Disney Channel star who keeps boxing washed-up MMA fighters, one has to wonder why I'm not more famous.

I've decided to change that. Starting today, I hereby want to become an internet phenomenon, like Rebecca Black. But, you know, actually good. That way, I can help shape society into one where people are witty and write essays, rather than getting on OnlyFans for literally any reason. So please, tell all of your family and friends about me. Then tell your enemies. Then run up to random people in the streets and tell them about me.

Remember-- if I'm famous, then I will probably have a celebrity roast at one point, which means those who made me famous get front row seats to see me shouting about how Jared Leto is really just a lemur in a crappy human costume on Comedy Central.

solution 1) easy : start a YouTube channel where you do challenges like reciting the entire Potato Noster or Clousems style insults. people like crazy person, so you'll be richer than mrBeast.

solution 2) hard : marry a celebrity, for this you will have to go to festivals, birthday parties and have to watch excessive arthouse films.

solutions 3) medium : go to Mount Rushmore and shout loudly "I am Clousems, lord of the universe, descendant of Grover Cleveland, I come with my magic sword to bring peace to this world. I am your new master"

I WISH is was descended from the greatest president in history. All I've got are total lame-os like William the Bastard and that dude who murdered the Pequots.

Although, I gotta say watching excessive arthouse films sounds like fun (especially considering that Tarantino would be jealous of my giallo collection).

@clousems said in #3:

Although, I gotta say watching excessive arthouse films sounds like fun (especially considering that Tarantino would be jealous of my giallo collection).

I didn't know you were of Italian ancestry at other side, but I suppose Tarantino would be proud to speak to a descendant of the nicest, most honest, most meticulous American president.

I'm not famous yet. Stop slacking, you heathens!