Roast me

Alrighty, wanna roast you on the grill or on the stove?

Look in the mirror and you'll understand the reason for many things.

here:

I've been called worse things by better men.
I didn't mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute.
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
I'd rather treat a baby's diaper rash than have lunch with you.
I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse.
I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but here's a participation award.
It's all about balance... you start talking, I stop listening.
If you were any more inbred, you'd be a sandwich.
I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people.
Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary?
Accidents happen; the proof is sitting right there.
You bring everyone so much joy... when you leave the room.
You're like a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
No, that's fine. You're certainly entitled to your incorrect opinion.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
I can't wait to spend my whole life without you.
Rolling your eyes isn't going to help you find your brain.
Why do you look like an envelope with no address on it?
If I wanted to hurt myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ.
Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. It's a bad idea in your case.
I don't hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five.

Ur so fat when god said let there be light he told you to move over

I’ mean none of this

Gambsum69 sounds like a Wi-Fi password made by a 12-year-old who thinks 69 is still funny. “Gambsum”? Is that a Pokémon or the sound your brain makes when it crashes? Try again, budget username.
P.S no hate , you asked for it

You are so fat that even Caseoh called you that you are my son and gave the title of the world's fattest man to you

金木水火你,生旦净末你。(Meaning: 土+丑)

You're like a gambit. No one ever accepts you.