If you win + give a Rematch = fair attitude

@KingThisPawn said in #1:

What happened to a big part of the Lichess Community in the last few years?
I had a 2 year break from Chess. I come back and nearly no one offers a Rematch anymore.

what happened is that your mind started playing that trick on you, where you believe that the past was better than it actually was. it's called nostalgia bias. here's a thread from more than 3 years ago by someone complaining about people not offering rematches: https://lichess.org/forum/general-chess-discussion/rematch-6 – and you can find even older topics than that.

edit: and just to be clear, i personally don't care about rematches. for me the rematch-less past was just as good as the rematch-less present.

@KingThisPawn said in #1:

No one deserves a rematch, if you lose then oh well. sorry

Sometimes I just have other stuff I want to do or need to do. I'm not going to be late for work because someone wanted a rematch. Other times I'd simply rather play against another person. It's nothing personal. I just like variety.

@KingThisPawn said in #1:

What happened to a big part of the Lichess Community in the last few years?
I had a 2 year break from Chess. I come back and nearly no one offers a Rematch anymore.
At least if you win as white, isn't it self explaining fair to offer a rematch?
Many people don't care anymore. But did you know that on the other side of the board is also a human being.
I think we, as Lichess users, should support that unwritten rule, to offer a Rematch.
If you still do, congratulation. You are one of the very little % that didn't let you influence to much from this more and more ignorant turning world.
We have to support the o in LoL = Love outstanding Lichess

You don't even know what's happening on their end. People have jobs. They maybe played a quick 10 minute game and they have to get back to work. You can never accuse someone of not giving you a rematch. The person physically cannot afford a rematch as they know that if the person offers a rematch and the opponent accepts it, the person will have to leave halfway through to get to work. In what fashion is this rude or disrespectful?

@JA10306 said in #22:

No one deserves a rematch, if you lose then oh well. sorry

Maybe it's not the most popular opinion on here, but I think that's a terrible attitude, chess wouldn't be the game it is if wasn't for affording an opponent a rematch - with the desire to help others improve. The 'oh well you lost' attitude, is not only disparaging but a disrespect to the game itself.

@Orphan_X said in #25:

chess wouldn't be the game it is if wasn't for affording an opponent a rematch - with the desire to help others improve. The 'oh well you lost' attitude, is not only disparaging but a disrespect to the game itself.

The game is what it is : a game. And everyone has their own approach to it. Some people take chess very seriously, others don't.
For me, chess is a beautiful and very interesting game, but it has zero importance in my life. Not a religion, nor a lifestyle, not a sport, not a means to prove something. Just a game. A regenerating interlude between the things I deal with during the day. Whether I win or lose a game, for me the question ends there. So, if I still want to play, I try with another opponent.
Winning or losing a chess game has no meaning, it doesn't change anything in my day. I don't feel any need for revenge when I lose, nor the duty to satisfy the wounded ego of someone who loses an insignificant game against me.

All this, FOR ME. Others may have another approach.

This site is open to everyone. Everyone can play the game with the approach they prefer (in compliance with the server policy); and everyone must simply respect, and accept, everyone else's approach. You are free to ask for a rematch, and I am free to refuse it. You are free to offer a rematch, I am free not to.

I do not know the context of OP’s concern, so I cannot comment on their perspective. Personally, I have stopped offering or accepting rematches unless there’s some connection with the opponent (as others have mentioned). The reason is simple: I often received what appeared to be ‘rage rematch’ offers, where the opponent lost and kept offering rematches until they won one, then left. To avoid such situations, I decided to skip rematches altogether. With such a large player pool, it does not seem like a loss for anyone.

I make a very clear distinction between games on the Internet and OTB games. When I play games in real life, I usually play with a friend or family member. I also have enough time and the revenge game is a natural part of it. On the Internet, however, I occasionally play a game between TV news and washing up, and there are plenty of reasons why I don't have time for a second game. You're not my friend either, so I don't see any obligation to take this time. And I don't think it was any different two years ago.

@Orphan_X said in #25:

Maybe it's not the most popular opinion on here, but I think that's a terrible attitude, chess wouldn't be the game it is if wasn't for affording an opponent a rematch - with the desire to help others improve. The 'oh well you lost' attitude, is not only disparaging but a disrespect to the game itself.

So to clarify and to get more in depth to my opinion let me explain. Ive accepted rematches before I just lean towards not accepting them. I guess it depends on how good/intense the game was. If its a solid game and both of us play it out then maybe. However sometimes my opponent will hang a rook, resign and automatically send a rematch. Im not playing another game with that attitude. However if you hang a rook and message me through the game with "damn that was a mouse slip can we rematch" then maybe.

obviously its a generalized opinion but most of the time i wont accept the rematch. And personally for me whenever i lose i never ask for a rematch.

@JA10306 said in #29:

So to clarify and to get more in depth to my opinion let me explain. Ive accepted rematches before I just lean towards not accepting them. I guess it depends on how good/intense the game was. If its a solid game and both of us play it out then maybe. However sometimes my opponent will hang a rook, resign and automatically send a rematch. Im not playing another game with that attitude. However if you hang a rook and message me through the game with "damn that was a mouse slip can we rematch" then maybe.

It's fair enough if you are time constrained, everyone has other priorities. I don't see how making a genuine mistake and asking for a rematch is bad, probably the player is thinking from a perspective of simply thinking they could've played better rather than being angry at losing or having an attitude. I shamelessly ask for them purely if a player shows a lot of strength and I think I could learn from them and likewise I'll accept if it's not clearly out of spite or just a terrible game.

Mostly, I think it's important to play against the same person multiple times, it's more effective in finding out where you are going wrong. I don't think I've ever sent a rematch 'for revenge' like others have said, it's not a video game